Exploring the Relationship Between the Authentic Student and the Authentic Guru
2 April 2025
After greeting everyone, the Karmapa began by explaining that these instructions on following a guru or spiritual friend applied to Buddhism in general and not just to Secret Mantra, though the word ‘guru’ might have specific use in the context of Vajrayana. The guru or spiritual friend is also extremely important in the Mahayana sutras.
Some people might question the value of studying the Fifty Verses on the Guru (Skt: Gurupañcāśikā) and doubt its benefit, maintaining that times have changed and there’s little hope of finding such a guru nowadays. The Karmapa pointed out that it is impossible to practice the Secret Mantra without a guru, whether it be pujas, meditation or retreat, and this view is supported repeatedly by the words of the Buddha and the teachings of scholars and practitioners.
Our discussions often revolve around whether a particular lama has the characteristics of a good guru or not, without considering whether we ourselves are authentic students, whether we are good, receptive students. We need to examine ourselves, before we put our hopes in someone else. Often these days connections formed with a lama are not those between a master and disciple; they are more like a master-servant or a guru-sponsor relationship. Or people choose to follow a particular guru based on bias and factionalism. The Karmapa summed it up:
I would say that we don't really know how to make a connection between a master and a disciple. I think this happens quite often. So, first, it's important for us to find the authentic guru, and once we find one, we need to know how to follow them properly. This is extremely important.
How dharma becomes the path
According to the Kadampa masters, whether or not the dharma becomes the path depends on whether or not we have generated renunciation, the desire to achieve liberation. When we have developed renunciation and want to free ourselves from sorrow, the dharma we practise starts to become the path to ultimate buddhahood.
Many great Kagyu masters taught that whether the dharma becomes the path or not depends primarily on developing faith in an authentic guru. It’s only when we have a level of faith or genuine devotion that our dharma practice becomes the path and there is an authentic connection between guru and disciple which accords with the dharma. This authentic connection is extremely important not just for the individual but for the flourishing of the Buddhist teachings in general.
The Kadampa view on the importance of a ‘spiritual friend’ can be found in their discussion of Mahayana sutras and also in their teachings on lamrim, the stages of the path. For example, the Basket of the Bodhisattvas (Skt. Bodhisattvapiṭaka-sūtra) reads:
In brief, attaining and perfecting all the conduct of the bodhisattvas and likewise,
attaining and perfecting the transcendences, levels, forbearances, samādhis, clairvoyances, dhāraṇīs, confidence, dedications, aspirations, and all the qualities of the buddhas depend on the guru. They are based on the guru. They arise from the guru. The guru is their origin and cause. They are produced by the guru and increased by the guru. They depend on the guru. The guru is their cause.
For this reason, the Kadampa masters taught that following the guru was the basis of the path. As well as referring to the methods in the Basket of the Bodhisattvas, they also drew on the Fifty Verses.
Some people may think that following the guru is only important for practitioners of secret mantra Vajrayana. That’s not true; the spiritual friend is equally important in sutra and tantra. As Geshe Potawa said, "There's nothing more important for achieving liberation than the guru."
The Karmapa pointed out that in everyday life we rely on teachers to instruct us in secular skills, how much more so if we wish to achieve freedom from samsara. He then proceeded to look at the role of the guru in the Mahayana tradition.
The Five Ways to Follow the Guru Taught by Manjushri to Sudhana
According to the Stem Array Sūtra (Skt. Gaṇḍavyūha-sūtra) Manjushri taught Sudhana five ways to follow the guru.
Son of noble family, in order to achieve omniscient wisdom, a bodhisattva absolutely must receive realization from an authentic spiritual friend. In seeking a spiritual friend, be indefatigable. Never be satisfied with how much you have seen the spiritual friend. Accept respectfully the teachings of the spiritual friend. Never be hostile towards the spiritual friend’s skillful conduct.
The Kadampa master Neusurpa, a student of the Kadampa master Gönpawa, altered the order, corrected the translation and made them easier to understand:
• Child of noble family, never be weary when seeking a spiritual master.
• Child of noble family, follow the spiritual friend for a long time.
• Child of noble family, do as the spiritual friend instructs.
• Achieve the realization of the spiritual friend.
• Never be angry about the spiritual friend’s skillful conduct.
The Karmapa explained. When you are seeking an authentic guru, you should never be discouraged by hardships and suffering. When you follow a guru, as all the qualities will increase and develop over time, it is important to commit to following them for a long not short time. No matter what dharma teachings, the guru gives you, you need to practice as they teach it, and actually do the meditation practice, otherwise you won't receive any blessings. You need to gain an understanding of the dharma they are teaching and the main points of what they are saying. Finally, you should not lose faith in the guru should you see them behaving in a seemingly contradictory way to benefitting beings. They need to employ various methods which may seem contradictory.
The Four Ways to Serve the Guru According to Maitreya
In his Ornament of the Mahayana Sutras ((Skt: Mahāyāna-sūtrālamkāra-kārikā), Maitreya says:
Serve the spiritual friend with respect,
Gifts, service, and practice.
The Karmapa commented that he had covered these in the previous day’s teaching. The Kadampa master Geshe Sharawa had elaborated on these. In the Kadampa tradition it is said that you give material objects without stinginess, flexibility without stubbornness or arrogance, honesty free of deception, and practice without backsliding. These four that they teach also seem related to Maitreya’s texts.
Lord Gampopa’s Ten Dharmas
Gampopa’s Great Dharma Talks (Tib. ཚོགས་ཆོས་ཆེན་མོ།) quotes ten ways from the Kadampa tradition for following the guru. He leaves out “practice without backsliding” and then adds to the previous three:
Follow the spiritual friend with faith that never grows weary.
Follow the spiritual friend with material things free of stinginess.
Follow the spiritual friend with altruism free of stains.
Follow the spiritual friend with prajna free of delusion.
Follow the guru with dedication free of pride.
Follow the spiritual friend with service without apprehension.
Follow the spiritual friend with honesty free of deception
Follow the spiritual friend with flexibility without stubbornness or arrogance.
Follow the spiritual friend with patience free of anger.
Follow the spiritual friend with the body of the deity, not an ordinary one.The Eight Ways from the Sutra of the Assembly of Knowledge (Tib. ཀུན་འདུས་རིག་པའི་མདོ།)
In the Kangyur, among the Nyingma tantras, there is the Sutra of the Assembly of Knowledge. It says that there are eight attitudes to be adopted:With faith that never grows weary,
With flexibility free of stubbornness or arrogance,
With material things free of stinginess,
With service free of apprehension,
With honesty free of deception,
With integrity free of flattery,
With prajna free of delusion,
With altruism free of stains,
Offer these eight attitudes to the exalted one.
These are also derived from the Kadampa teachings and are very similar but with some differences. There are eight not ten, and “integrity free of flattery” is new.
Verse 16: Making Offerings: Showing Respect and Restoring Samaya
By giving the guru with devotion
Offerings as appropriate,
Calamities like epidemics,
Et cetera, will not occur. (verse 16)
According to Je Tsongkhapa’s outline of the Fifty Verses, we are now in the section on “How to be respectful” which has eight points, the first of which is “Making Offerings”. Pal Khang Lotsawa, a disciple of Eighth Karmapa Mikyö Dorje, maintained that this means primarily serving the guru with gifts, but Je Tsongkhapa has this as the first of four subtopics:
• Making offerings to purify disrespect
• Offering everything one owns
• Why this is reasonable
• How to continually keep the three samayas
The Karmapa explained that sometimes it is possible to be disrespectful of the guru when first you follow them, and you make offerings to restore samaya. Je Tsongkhapa says:
The Great Commentary of Śrīparama (Tib. དཔལ་མཆོག་འགྲེལ་ཆེན།) and the commentary on the Four Hundred and Fifty Stanzas (Tib. བཞི་བརྒྱ་ལྔ་བཅུ་པའི་འགྲེལ་པ།) explain this as the way to restore the faults of scorning the guru.
However, the Karmapa elaborated, there are many other reasons to make offerings to the guru: when you initially meet the guru; when you request dharma; when you have received dharma; in order to repay the guru’s kindness; to gather the accumulations; or to purify obscurations. If there is a violation in samaya from not following the guru properly, it is necessary to make offerings to remove the fault.
The Seventh Karmapa Chödrak Gyatso explains this in his Commentary in Annotations (Tib. མཆན་འགྲེལ།):
By first prostrating and then giving or offering the guru with devotion of the three gates offerings as they have been explained that are good and are as appropriate for the guru’s wishes.
The offerings should be good things, not second-rate offerings, that will please the guru.
By doing so, the offenses of being disrespectful are purified, so calamities like epidemics, et cetera, that were described above, will gradually be pacified and those harms will not occur again.
Offerings should be made according to your resources, from your own wealth, and this will avert future disasters and so forth.
The Sanskrit commentary, The Textual Explanation on Following the Guru (Skt. Gurvārādhana-pañjikā), also explains that offerings are made to make amends for the fault of criticising the guru. In summary, it says that criticism of the guru leads to various sufferings in this and future lives. In order to pacify these, you should offer the guru a meal along with other offerings. If the guru is pleased, then all the gurus will be pleased, and all the buddhas will be pleased. If all the buddhas are pleased, all of your wishes will be satisfied. Whatever you wish to do will be accomplished. In particular, whatever siddhis, supreme or common you aim for, you'll be able to accomplish.
Restoring Samaya
Various stories in the namthar of Tibetan lamas illustrate how making offerings can eliminate violations of samaya. The Karmapa recounted one about Phagmo Drupa Dorje Gyalpo—one of the Three Men from Kham— and his student Nakshö Gyaljung. No matter how many teachings Phagmo Drupa gave him, he developed no experience or realization, so Phagmo Drupa concluded, “You must have a breach of samaya with a previous master.” Nakshö Gyaljung remembered how he had requested a few sadhanas from a tantric practitioner. As an offering, he had given him a text of the Eight Thousand Verses (Skt. Aṣṭasāhasrikā-prajñāpāramitā) and a field. However, the two had a disagreement and Nakshö Gyaljung took his offerings back. The tantric practitioner was no longer alive so Phagmo Drupa ordered Nakshö Gyaljung to make a confession and restoration of the offerings to the practitioner’s sister and her daughter. Once Nakshö Gyaljung had done this, he was able to absorb Phagmo Drupa’s instructions, develop the qualities he should have had, and eventually became a great practitioner.
The best action when there is a breach in samaya between student and guru, the Karmapa advised, is for the student to confess it to the guru, or, if the guru is no longer alive, to one of their descendents up to the seventh generation.
Verse 17: Offering Everything that One Owns
If the master of your samaya
Is to be served with the ungiveable—
Your children, spouse, and your own life—
What need to mention fleeting riches? (verse 17)
Seventh Karmapa Chödrak Gyatso’s Commentary in Annotations explains the text in this way:
If the master who gives you and creates your samaya—your samaya of the deity’s body, speech, and mind—and is a mandala that is inseparable from the body, speech, and mind of all buddhas, is to be served with the ungiveable—your children, spouse, who cannot be given to others because they are too precious and your own life but you give even your life and serve him thus, what need to mention serving them with fleeting riches, the various external, transient possessions ?
If you need to dedicate everything that you treasure to the guru, even your own life, there is no need to mention giving external, transient possessions.
The Sanskrit commentary explains this verse as teaching the duties of a student. Keeping samaya means keeping bodhichitta and the samaya of the Five Families.
The Karmapa explained that the verse is essentially about serving the guru and what this entails: that you cannot consider anything in your life, or even your very life, as more important. In the Sanskrit, there’s a phrase that is missing from the Tibetan, which adds ‘friends’ or ‘retinue’ to children and spouse. This is what ungivable encompasses. You have to be able to relinquish all of these. The implication is that if you are unable to relinquish them, you are unable to serve the guru and unable to practice the dharma.
Je Tsongkhapa differs in his interpretation of the master of your samaya:
In the past, some have explained the masters of your samaya as the masters who have given you samaya and some as the masters for whom you have to keep samaya. However, From the commentary on Śrīparama: “‘Always keep your samaya’ means that the vajra body, speech, and mind of your special deity is your samaya.
Tsongkhapa adds that Shantipa also explains it as the yoga of your special deity, so the master of your samaya is the master whom you view as inseparable from the body, speech, and mind of your special deity.
The Authentic Guru and the Authentic Student
Returning to the general meaning of the verse, the Karmapa emphasized that to take the verse at face value as meaning that the student will be breaking samaya unless they offer everything to the guru, was not to understand all the issues clearly.
The first point is that the guru needs to be authentic and to have all the qualities and qualifications, or at the least the most significant ones. They have to show compassion and patience, know the ten suchnesses, and so forth. Secondly, there are characteristics they must not have: faults such as pride, anger, voracity, lack of learning, deliberately deceiving the students, attachment to pleasure and so on. If these faults exist in the guru, the student should reject them. Other faults which disqualify a guru are if they fail to keep samaya with their own guru, if they are always speaking harshly to their own guru, if they only scold their students, if they are focused on wealth and profit, or if they are unable to keep ethical discipline. The student should not make offerings to such a guru. They should run away from them as quickly and as far as possible, like escaping from hell!
Similarly, from Approaching the Ultimate (Skt. Paramārthasevā):
Someone who craves ordinary desire is not a glorious guru.
Someone attached the fine, possessions and wealth is not a glorious guru.
One who criticizes learned people is not a glorious guru.
One who has rejected compassion for beings is not a glorious guru.
One who discards students with no riches is not a glorious guru.
The instructions on serving the guru in the Fifty Verses only apply when the student has a relationship with an authentic guru. It is crucial to understand this clearly.
Conversely, the student must be authentic too.
Just as the guru must have many qualities, the student also needs a lot of different qualities. They must have a wish for liberation from samsara, faith in the dharma, devotion to the guru, and be focused only on achieving liberation and omniscience. They should have no concerns for accomplishing the aims of this life.
When the authentic student encounters the authentic guru, there is no need to tell the student that they have to relinquish everything to the guru. It comes naturally.
This is not just found in the Vajrayana, in the Fifty Verses or in tantric texts. The namthars of Indian and Tibetan gurus contain many stories of students who relinquished everything to serve the authentic guru.
Offering Children, Spouse, and Your Own Life
The first point is that the guru must be authentic and possess the characteristics of an authentic guru.
The second point is that the Fifty Verses seems to assume that both the master and the disciple are householders, otherwise, it would be strange for the student to give spouse and children to a monastic.
The third point is that giving the spouse and children to the guru should not be pointless but be of some benefit to them, an improvement in their lives. As an example, the Karmapa cited Queen Yeshe Tsogyal, who was offered to Guru Rinpoche by her husband, King Trisong Detsen. Trisong Detsen understood that it would be of great benefit her.
The fourth point is that offering one’s spouse and children is not being done by force, because one of the characteristics of the authentic guru is their compassion, and to compel the wife and children to join the guru’s household by force would be to negate this.
Giving up What we Treasure the Most
Children and spouses are the things that we treasure most and usually the main attachment in our lives, the thing that is hardest to relinquish. The verse is not saying that you absolutely must give them to the guru; rather, they are an example. From the perspective of a worldly person, the most difficult thing to give away is your spouse and your children,your body and your life, because of your attachment to them. But, in order to practice the dharma, you need the resolve and courage to relinquish them too if necessary.
Offering Ourselves: Body, Speech and Mind
We often talk about the need to offer our body, speech, and mind. It's like offering ourselves, and offering ourselves means offering our body and possessions. We often recite these words, but have no idea of what they really imply, what they really mean.
Examples from the Lives of Famous Lamas
The story goes that when Milarepa arrived at Lhodrag and met Marpa, he said, “I'm offering my body, speech and mind. Please give me food, clothing and dharma.” Marpa replied, “It's good for you to offer body, speech and mind, but I can't give you all three of food and clothing and dharma. So, either I give you dharma and you provide your own food and clothing, or I'll give you the food and clothing, and you look for the dharma elsewhere.”
There’s also the story of Kashmiri Dawa Gonpo, who transmitted one of the two Kalachakra traditions in Tibet. When Dawa Gonpo arrived in Tibet, Gompa Könchok Sung gathered everything he owned and traded it for six ounces of gold. He then wrapped a scarf around his neck like a leash and went to present himself to the Pandita. When Gompa Könchok Sung met him, he offered him the leash and the gold saying, “I am offering my body, speech, and mind. Please teach me the commentaries on the tantra and give me the full pith instructions.”
The Mahāpaṇḍita Nāropa had to undergo twelve hardships in order to follow Tilopa. He gave up everything to follow his guru.
These stories of offering all of your wealth, body, speech and mind to follow the guru are quite frequent in both Sanskrit and Tibetan literature. People would give away everything in order to follow the dharma because of their intense wish for liberation from samsara. They realized that only an authentic guru could provide them with the pith instructions of Secret Mantra for liberation and achieving buddhahood in this lifetime.
How do you do this? The Karmapa returned to the story of Marpa and Milarepa to illustrate this.
Milarepa requested dharma teachings many times, but Marpa refused. He mistreated Milarepa and physically abused him. Eventually, Marpa’s wife, Dagmema, decided to take action. She told Milarepa to go to Lama Ngokpa. She secretly stole the bone ornaments and mala that Nāropa had bequeathed to Marpa as an offering for the lama, and forged a letter of introduction from her husband which said that Marpa had sent him. However, because Milarepa went without Marpa’s permission, even though he practiced under Lama Ngokpa, he developed no experience or realization.
When Milarepa arrived, Lama Ngokpa was teaching the Hevajra Tantra to many students, at the point where it says:
The teacher is me, the dharma is me.
The listeners who have the accumulations are me;
The teacher who accomplishes the world is me.
The worldly and transcendent are me.
The nature of co-emergent joy is me.
From a distance, Milarepa began prostrating, and Lama Ngokpa recognized the style of prostration as in the lineage of Marpa. He stopped his teaching and sent one of the monks to ask who Milarepa was. Milarepa said that Marpa had sent him and Lama Ngokpa arranged a golden procession to escort him inside. Milarepa prostrated once more and made the offering of Nāropa’s relics and gave the letter.
To Ngok Chöku Dorje: I am entering closed retreat and Great Magician is impatient. I am sending him to you to request the dharma, so grant him initiation and teach him the oral instructions. As tokens of my permission to do this I am sending Nāropa’s ornaments and his ruby mala.
Lama Ngok was delighted, gave Milarepa the Hevajra initiation and all the pith instructions, then sent him into retreat in a cave near the Lama’s house. Milarepa stayed there and meditated hard, but because he did not have Marpa's permission, he failed to develop any experience or realization. One time, Lama Ngokpa came to the cave to check on Milarepa’s progress and was very puzzled to see that there were none of the signs of this, because: “As long as there's no broken commitments in my lineage, the qualities of experience and realization develop quickly. There should be no difficulty with that.” He presumed that Milarepa had Marpa’s permission because of the gifts and the letter. Milarepa didn’t dare tell him the truth, so he continued with the meditation retreat.
Milarepa’s subterfuge was revealed when Marpa sent a letter requesting Lama Ngokpa to provide some tamarisk roofing for the nine-storey tower that Milarepa had built. He also invited Lama Ngokpa to the consecration adding “Furthermore, there’s an evil person with you, an evil person who belongs to me. Bring him as well.”
Having read the letter, Lama Ngokpa confronted Milarepa, who confessed immediately. Lama Ngokpa’s response was, "Everything we've done has been pointless. If you didn’t receive the lama’s permission then the qualities of meditation will never manifest. There's nothing to do." Milarepa agreed to go with him, as his servant.
The Lama gathered together all of his household, his wife, his retinue, all of his wealth -gold, turquoise silks and garments- and livestock, as extensive offerings to take to Marpa. This included his flock of sheep and goats. But one of the goats, an old nanny goat, had a broken leg and was unable to walk and had to be left behind. The Lama gave Milarepa a bolt of silk to offer to Marpa, and the lama’s wife gave him a leather bag of soft cheese to offer to Marpa’s wife.
When they reached Drowolung, where Marpa was, Lama Ngokpa sent Milarepa ahead to let Dagmema know they were coming and to request some chang [Tibetan barley beer] to welcome them. Dagmema was overjoyed to see Milarepa and sent him off to meet Marpa.
Marpa was in his residence, meditating, looking to the east. Milarepa approached him, prostrated and offered him the bolt of silk, but Marpa immediately turned and looked to the west, in order to avoid seeing Milarepa. Milarepa went to that side, prostrated again, and again offered the bolt of silk. Now, Marpa turned to look towards the south. Milarepa protested that it was right for Marpa to scold him and not accept his prostrations, but Lama Ngokpo was coming to offer everything he possessed, so please would he send some chang to welcome him.
Marpa was enraged. Snapping his finger, he said:
When I returned from India I brought with me, from among the inconceivable collections of the Buddha’s teaching, the extraordinary heart-instructions that extract the essential meaning of the four classes of tantra. At that time, not so much as a lame bird came to greet me. It is not possible that I, a great lotsawa, should greet him simply because he is coming, driving with him a few straggling animals. Tell them to leave. They should go back.
Milarepa reported everything to Dagmema, and she acknowledged that Lama Ngokpa was an important guru, and even though the lama had only requested some chang and did not expect to be greeted personally by Marpa or his wife, she went with Milarepa to welcome him herself.
Many people had gathered for the celebration of two events- the consecration of the tower and the coming of age of Marpa’s son, Darma Dode. At that time, Marpa was reciting his aspiration prayer. After he had finished, Lama Ngokpa presented his offerings, saying:
Precious guru, in general terms the guru is master of my three gates. I have given them to you already. But now on this occasion I am bringing everything except for one old, lame nanny goat, who is the grandmother of the entire herd. She is old and she has a broken leg and could not get here. But I have brought everything else here and I’m offering it to you. Please look upon me with compassion and grant initiation and all the foremost pith instructions, in particular the instructions of the oral schools.
He then offered prostrations. He had asked for instructions which Marpa never gave.
Marpa was delighted and said:
Indeed, as you say, my foremost profound initiations and oral instructions are, generally speaking, the short path of the Vajra Vehicle, the oral instructions by which one becomes a buddha in this life without waiting for innumerable aeons. However, there is a very strict command seal on them. You have given everything except for that old nanny goat. It doesn’t matter that she’s old and her leg is broken. If you don’t offer her, I won’t give you the instructions.
At that point, everyone laughed, but lama Ngokpa persisted, “If I offer the old nanny goat will you lift the command seal and grant me the instructions?” Marpa replied, “You have to bring me that goat. And if you don't bring me that nanny goat, I won't give them to you."
The very next morning Lama Ngokpa set off home, and then returned carrying the nanny goat on his back, and offered it to Marpa.
Marpa was very pleased, and explained that he had no need for the nanny goat but.that as the Secret Mantra is sacred he had wanted to test Lama Ngokpa’s commitment and desire for the dharma, his faith and devotion. He then promised to impart many of the foremost initiations and oral instructions, and later he did so.
In conclusion, the Karmapa suggested that it was really important to consider these stories. Marpa, for example, could be an irascible and difficult person, and many of the people in Lhodrak didn’t have much faith in him. But Marpa had all the characteristics of an authentic guru, such as knowing the ten suchnesses, and whatever he did Lama Ngokpa, Milarepa and other such disciples, never harboured any wrong views about him. They always saw him as an actual Buddha.
Likewise, the way in which they followed him—they offered him everything that they had. They did whatever he told them to do and had the fortitude to do it. They served the guru exactly as it's taught in the Fifty Verses. If we want to be authentic, we need to be like Marpa, Ngokpa and Milarepa.